Script in progress - Second Draft

RAINBOW COUNTRY

by Tom Lichtenberg

CAST OF CHARACTERS

THALIA - AN ATTRACTIVE WOMAN ABOUT 40

MERCEDES - THALIA'S BEST FRIEND AND CONTEMPORARY

WINSTON - THALIA'S HUSBAND, A STOCKBROKER

NOLAN - A RETIRED CARPENTER

DAVID - A MIDDLE-AGED PLUMBER

HENRIETTA - A RETIRED FISHERWOMAN


LAMBERT - A LAWYER

MISS PRENTISS - THE LAWYER'S SECRETARY - OFFSTAGE VOICE ONLY

GREGORY - AN ARTIST

DANIEL - A MUSICIAN

ANNIE - A CHILD PUPPETEER

PAULINE - A CATERER

MISCELLANEOUS VILLAGERS

CATS



ACT ONE

SCENE 1

In the office of the lawyer, Mr. Lambert. Lambert
is seated behind a desk, in front of which are two
chairs. He is talking into a speakerphone on his
desk, and fiercely holding down a button on the
device.

LAMBERT
Miss Prentiss, please send in the Jenningseses, er, the
Jennings. I mean ...

MISS PRENTISS
The Jenningses, sir?

LAMBERT
Of course. Those people. Yes. Thank you.

A handsome, very well-dressed middle-aged couple
enter from the side. Lambert rises to greet them,
reaching his arm over the desk to shake their
hands.

LAMBERT
Mr. Jennings. Mrs. Jennings. So nice to see you.

THALIA
Thalia, please, Mr. Lambert.

WINSTON
Mr. Jennings is fine for me, Mr. Lambert

LAMBERT
Of course, of course. Please, Mr. Jennings and Mrs.
Thalia, please, have a seat.

The couple take the seats in front of the desk and
Lambert sits down again. From a drawer he pulls
out two bundles of papers and pushes them across
the desk.

LAMBERT
The reason I asked you both to come is here in front of
you now. Your mother, Mrs. Jennings ...

THALIA
Thalia

LAMBERT
Sorry, of course. Your mother, Mrs. Thalia, left these
papers for you, in the event of her passing which, as
we know, has recently occurred. She wished you to have
them after all of the ceremonies were concluded.

THALIA
I wonder what they could be?

LAMBERT
They are yours, Mrs Thalia. Please, take them. Mr.
Jennings, if you would be so kind as to sign here. This
merely acknowledges the transaction.

WINSTON
Of course, certainly.

Winston signs the paper offered him while Thalia
gingerly picks up the larger of the two bundles
and unties the ribbon around it. As she does,
several letters fall to the floor, while others
lands in her lap. Flustered, she scatters them all
about as she tries to gather them together.

WINSTON
(condescendingly)
Really, Thalia

THALIA
It makes me nervous. You know I hate surprises. I had
no idea my mother was harboring papers. You read them,
Winston. I'm afraid to.

WINSTON
(sighing)
As you wish, my dear.

Winston gets down on the floor and efficiently
retrieves the papers, sorting them as he rises and
resumes his seat.

LAMBERT
You don't have to do that here, you know. You've signed
for them. Please, take them.

WINSTON
I think he wants us to go.

THALIA
Go where? Where does he want us to go?

WINSTON
Anywhere but here is my guess. Come, we'll take the
letters with us.

THALIA
Letters? Is that what they are? Have you read them
already?

WINSTON
Thalia, come.

Thalia gets up too, and they leave the office as
Lambert stands momentarily, then rubs his hands as
the lights dim and the scene ends.

ACT ONE

SCENE TWO

Winston begins to read the letters as they are
walking along the sidewalk.

WINSTON
I thought you said your father abandoned you when you
were a baby.

THALIA
That's right. I never knew him. He just ditched my mom
and me.

WINSTON
Um, maybe not.

THALIA
What do you mean?

WINSTON
(shuffling the papers and pausing to
re-read some sections)
I think you'd better read this.

THALIA
No. You read it to me. I don't want to look.

Winston and Thalia stop walking and remain where
they are for this conversation.

WINSTON
Ok. Here goes. Dear Willow, I'm writing you one more
time to try and convince you to come and join me. You
and little Thalia would love it here, I'm sure. It's
paradise on earth and I'm not exaggerating, this time.
I finally found it. Everything I've been looking for.
Everything we ever dreamed about. Forget the book. This
is real.
(pauses)
What book?

THALIA
Didn't I ever tell you? I'm sure I did. My father wrote
a book. It was a huge bestseller for a while. I never
actually read it. It was a kind of spiritual self-help
thing called 'The Road to HarHarHar'

WINSTON
Har har what?

THALIA
HarHarHar

WINSTON
Very funny.

THALIA
Ha. Anyway. he wrote this book and made a pile of money
and then he just took off. I don't think my mother and Iever
saw him again.

WINSTON
From this it sounds like it was her choice. In all of
these letters ...
(shuffling through them again)
He's asking her to come and join him in a place called
Rainbow Springs.

THALIA
Rainbow Springs? I never heard of it. Are you sure?

WINSTON
(sorting through the letters)
It's in every one of these. Come and join me... You
will love it... It's fantastic... Great artists,
musicians, writers, fishing.

THALIA
Fishing?

WINSTON
It seems it's some kind of resort. He writes about it a
lot. Let me see ...

THALIA
I have to call Mercedes.
(takes out her cellphone and presses
speed dial number 1)
Mercedes? Can you talk?

MERCEDES
(very loudly)
Sure. I'm putting you on speakerphone.

THALIA
Me too

MERCEDES
I'm just in line here at the supermarket. There's this
fat lady in front of me. You wouldn't believe how much
ice cream she's buying!
(pause, then a little more quietly)
Oops.

THALIA
Murse, did I ever tell you about my father?

MERCEDES
Tell me about Joel? I knew him! He was a great guy.

THALIA
No, my real dad.

MERCEDES
What? I didn't know your dad was a fake!

THALIA
I mean my birth father.

MERCEDES
You had a birth father? Well, I suppose most people do,
come to think of it.

THALIA
I can't believe it. How come nobody knows? I'm sure I
told you guys

MERCEDES AND WINSTON TOGETHER
Nope

THALIA
I don't even know if my father - I mean Joel – ever
knew about my father either. I mean Nikos.

MERCEDES
(sing-songy)
Con-fu-sing!

WINSTON
(peering through the letters again)
Thalia. There's something else
.

MERCEDES
What did he say? Hell's bells?

WINSTON
(shouting at the cellphone)
I was talking to her. Sometimes I talk to my wife, you
know.
(then to Thalia in a normal voice)
Apparently it's all yours now

THALIA
What's all mine?

WINSTON
Rainbow Springs
(he holds up a piece of paper)
According to this document, you are now the owner of a
fishing resort in the mountains. And some money, too.

THALIA
How much?

WINSTON
Six figures

MERCEDES
Did he say stick figures?

WINSTON
(to the phone again)
I wasn't talking to you.
(to Thalia)
Can we just talk?

THALIA
Oh, sorry. Later, Murse, gotta go. I'll call you later.
(Thalia puts the cellphone away)
She means well. It's just that her reception isn't
always clear.

WINSTON
It's because she insists on sticking with that do-goody
phone service. I don't know how many times I've told
her to switch. They are trading at all-time lows. It
only stands to reason. Doing good is not the same as
doing well.

THALIA
Never mind about that. Did you say six figures?

WINSTON
It looks that way. There's a bank account left in trust
for you. It could have been yours at any time since he
passed away more than fifteen years ago, but I guess
your mother never told you.

THALIA
It's not like we needed the money. We've done pretty
well for ourselves, you with your stock-breaking and me
with my bean-counting

WINSTON
Stock brokering.

THALIA
Bean counting. People pay me to tell them how much
money they have. It's amazing. But this is just like
mom. She never saw anything good that she didn't think
was bad. Do you know she used to patrol my room monthly
and throw away any toy she hadn't seen me recently
playing with? It got so I had to put them on a regular
rotation just to keep them around. Even if I didn't
like a toy any longer, I felt compelled to protect it
from her judgments.

WINSTON
She kept this one, at least. She could have probably
sold it off and you never would have known.

THALIA
It's a wonder she didn't. Perhaps she had some reason.
I for one could never understand her, and it's too late
now. She will have to remain a mystery to me forever.

Winston and Thalia walk off the stage to end the
scene


ACT ONE

SCENE THREE

Winston and Thalia are about to get into their
car, standing on either side of it.

WINSTON
So it's time to survey your new domain.

THALIA
It's certainly curious. You'd think there would have
been more information online. Instead? Almost nothing.

WINSTON
Your father described it as a famous resort. Famous
usually means that someone's heard of it.

THALIA
Maybe it's just exclusive.
(her cellphone rings)
Hi Murse. Let me put you on speakerphone

Winston rolls his eyes as he gets into the
driver's side of the car. Thalia gets in the
passenger side

MERCEDES
I found something out about your Rainbow Springs.
First, how to get there. Listen to this. It says "go
west on Highway 84 until you feel like you have to
throw up. That's how you'll know you're there."

WINSTON
Delightful.

THALIA
What else does it say?

MERCEDES
Nothing much.

THALIA
Tell me

MERCEDES
I just did. It says, when you get to Rainbow Springs,
there's nothing much.

THALIA
Where did you find this font of information?

MERCEDES
Tiny Towns Tabulated Dot Com

WINSTON
Terrific. Well, nothing will come of nothing. Here we
go.

Lights dim as the sound of car engine revs up.
Remain in semi-darkness for a minute or two, with
occasional squealing tire sounds. Thalia and
Winston can be seen rolling left, rolling right.
Thalia is holding on to the upper door handle. The
lights gradually come up again.

THALIA
Mercedes? Murse? Are you there?
(pauses, but there is no answer)

WINSTON
(muttering)
Some silences are more golden than others.

THALIA
(inspecting her phone)
It says no service. Darn.

WINSTON
We must be nearly there. Didn't she say it would take
around forty minutes?

THALIA
Depending on traffic.

WINSTON
(laughs)
That's a good one. I've hardly seen any other cars in a
while.

THALIA
I haven't seen anything but trees. I didn't know there
were so many of them.

WINSTON
They seem to like them around here. I don't mind a tree
now and then. They break up the sidewalk.
(chuckles)
Literally, they break up the sidewalk. Keeps the road
crews working at least. Our taxes have to go for
something.

THALIA
Not now, please, really. We've left all that behind us
for now.

WINSTON
Taxes paid for this road too.

THALIA
Please?
(peering out the window)
Wait! Is this a town?

WINSTON
Just looks like a biker bar and a trash can to me

THALIA
Let's pull over and ask. I see some people standing out
in front.

WINSTON
Yes, sure, local drunks usually have all the answers.
(glances at Thalia and winces at her
glare)
Oh, all right.

Winston motions as if stopping the car and pulling
over. Two characters - DANIEL and PAULINE - are on
the side of the stage, holding beer bottles and
leaning against a railing

WINSTON
Excuse me. Can you tell me if we're close to Rainbow
Springs?

DANIEL
Rainbow Springs? Is that the new restaurant?

PAULINE
No, no. I think the new restaurant's called
Hullabaloo's

DANIEL
Hullabaloo's? Really? I thought it was Gangbusters.

PAULINE
That was two owners ago. It was Gangbusters before it
was Cherry Lane. Now it's Hullabaloo's. I think.

WINSTON
(irritable)
No, it's not a restaurant. It's some kind of fishing
hole.

PAULINE
Seriously?

DANIEL
Sounds cool.

WINSTON
But you don't know.

DANIEL
You're telling me!

WINSTON
Okay.
(sighs)
Thank you anyway

PAULINE
Hey, when you find it, let us know. It sounds like fun.
I used to love to go fishing with my dad when I was a
kid.

DANIEL
Yeah, let us know. we'll be right here
.

WINSTON
(rolling up the window)
I'm sure you will.

THALIA
I guess we'll just have to keep going.

WINSTON
There's supposed to be a sign. I didn't see a sign. Did
you see a sign?

THALIA
Nothing yet

Another few moments of silence ensue. Thalia
looking out the window. Winston gripping the
wheel.

THALIA
Wait! I think I see something.

WINSTON
I see it too. It looks like it says rain o rings. Rain
o rings.

THALIA
Rainbow Springs! We're here.

Winston pulls over and they climb out of the car.
The scene now includes an old wooden sign missing
several letters (RAIN O RINGS) by the side of
the road. In the background are an old, decaying
wooden shack and a smaller out-building in just as
bad repair to one side. On the other side there is
a side of a large, hollow concrete square
perimeter - essentially a line of concrete blocks.

WINSTON
I do almost feel like throwing up. How about you?

Thalia is already retching beside the car.

WINSTON
I guess those directions were accurate. I'm going to
look around.

Winston walks to the small out building, then to
the main cabin, then to the concreter perimeter.
Thalia follows, catching up as he reaches the main
cabin. She is visibly disappointed
.

THALIA
It's a ruin.

WINSTON
Nothing much. Just as she said.

THALIA
Mercedes. I have to call her.
(pulls out her phone, but puts it away
again)
I forgot. No service.

WINSTON
No nothing, from the looks of it. This must be the
famous fishing hole.
(pointing at the concrete perimeter and
peering over its edge)
It's empty now. Looks deep enough, ten, maybe twelve
feet. Maybe forty foot square.

THALIA
It's not quite what I pictured, from the letters.

WINSTON
Really!
(pulls out a letter from his jacket
pocket and reads)
"The fishing is fabulous. This morning we had guests
pulling out trout like crazy, one of them eighteen
inches long. The kids were so excited. This really is
the spot."
(puts the letter away)

THALIA
I don't get it.

WINSTON
Me neither. How's a fish even going to get in there?
Skydiving?

THALIA
There must be a river somewhere

WINSTON
(peering into the hole again)
Must've dried up or something. Anyway. Should we look
in the house?

Thalia doesn't answer, but tags along as Winston
walks to the back of the stage again. They
gingerly step on the wooden staircase and then disappear through a door. After a moment of
silence, a loud bang is heard.

WINSTON
Ow!

THALIA
Watch out!

Another bang is heard, and then a crash of broken
glass, and then Winston comes back through the
door, hopping and clutching his foot. He tumbles
down the steps. Thalia comes hurrying after him,
and kneels beside him

THALIA
Are you okay?

WINSTON
(slowly getting up and dusting himself
off)
Most floors don't come with built-in potholes.

THALIA
And most windows don't just fall out of their frames.

WINSTON
Some place you've got here, my dear.

THALIA
(sheepishly)
Oh. It's nothing much.
(she pauses, giving Winston a chance to
laugh at her little joke, but he
doesn't)
I have got to call Mercedes. There must be a phone
around here somewhere

Thalia walks up to the front of the stage and with
her hand over her eyes, gazes off to the right and
left. Winston joins her and does the same.

WINSTON
There's some kind of a road over there, do you see?
Across the street.

THALIA
Oh yes, and a house. I see it. They probably have a
phone. Let's go.

ACT ONE

SCENE FOUR

Winston is knocking on the front door of an old,
peeling white cottage. Thalia is trying to peek
into the front window, but a lacy curtain blocks
her view. All she can see is a big cat curled up
on the windowsill.

Winston knocks again, and turns, about to say
something, when the door opens behind him. An old
lady - HENRIETTA - is there

HENRIETTA
Good afternoon.

WINSTON
Oh, hello. I thought no one was home

HENRIETTA
(suspiciously)
Did you want no one to be at home?

WINSTON
No, no.

THALIA
Hi. We're not from around here and my cellphone doesn't
work. Do you have a phone?

HENRIETTA
Sure. Of course. Who doesn't? Come in, come on in.

Henrietta turns and walks back into the house
through the door on the left of the stage,
expecting them to follow. All three come out a
door in the middle of the back, returning to the
stage and are now inside of Henrietta's home.
There are cats curled up everywhere, and a clutter
of small tables and small chairs everywhere. Each
small table is littered with porcelain and glass
figurines, mostly of cats. Every chair is covered
with some kind of cloth or clothing. They have to
navigate carefully not to bump into anything.

Winston has begun sneezing from the moment they
entered the house, and as he sneezes, he does bump
into tables, banging his injured knee and knocking
things down.

HENRIETTA
Mind your step. I know it's a little cozy in here. Can
I get you something? I have some nice olallieberry tea.
And some pickled preserves? Canned them myself last
winter.

THALIA
Oh, no thank you. Really, don't go to any trouble. I'd
just like to use the phone if I may.

HENRIETTA
It's no trouble, no trouble at all. Find a chair if you
can. Have a seat. I'll be right back. Don't mind the
cats.
(eyeing Winston suspiciously)
They don't bite most people, but they do have good
taste.

Winston's sneezing gets worse, and then he's
holding his mouth, gagging as well. Thalia notices
with alarm

THALIA
It's my husband. He's allergic.

WINSTON
I'll just wait outside if you don't mind.

Winston rushes back out the door they came in by

HENRIETTA
(grumbling)
Allergic? That doesn't seem normal.

THALIA
It's the cats.

HENRIETTA
(disapproving)
He's probably allergic to children too.

THALIA
As a matter of fact ...

HENRIETTA
I can always tell. What are you doing with that man?

THALIA
Doing? He's my husband.

HENRIETTA
That's what I mean.

THALIA
I really don't see how that's any of your business.

HENRIETTA
I suppose if I'm here in my own house I can say what I
want

THALIA
Yes, yes, of course you can.

Henrietta shuffles off to the side of the stage,
where there is a small kitchen, and begins to boil
some water for tea

THALIA
The phone?

HENRIETTA
Forty-seven years!

THALIA
Excuse me?

HENRIETTA
I was married forty-seven years and where is he now
that I need him? Dead, that's where.

THALIA
I'm sorry to hear that

HENRIETTA
Right when you need him most. But I forget myself. It's
just that whenever I see a husband, I remember mine,
and it makes me angry, what he's done to me, popping
off like that, and of course he shouldn't have been
trying to land the plane in the driveway. That's what
the highway is for!

Thalia doesn't answer but begins to pace back and
forth in a small space between tables. The water
begins to boil. Henrietta takes it off the stove
and pours one cup of tea. Then she turns and
enters the room carrying something, but it is not
the cup of tea.

HENRIETTA
Here it is. Here's the phone
(handing a heavy old rotary phone to
Thalia)

THALIA
Great. Now, where do we plug it in?

HENRIETTA
Plug it in?

THALIA
Yes, you know. Connect it? To use it?

HENRIETTA
Well, that wouldn't do any good. I don't have any
service here.

THALIA
(exasperated)
Then why did you say you had a phone?

HENRIETTA
Because I DO have a phone. You're holding it right now.

THALIA
(handing it back and rolling her eyes)
Thank you so much for showing it to me. Now I think
I'll say goodbye.

Thalia walks to the door and out (off the back of
the stage) where once again there are sounds of
Winston still sneezing and as the lights go down,
Winston says

WINSTON
My God. I thought I was going to die in there! Can we
just go now?

THALIA
Wait, there's another house over there. Let's try that
one.

ACT ONE

SCENE FIVE

Winston and Thalia begin to cross to the other
side of the stage when a shaggy looking
middle-aged man approaches rapidly and walks right
to them. He is somewhat wild-eyed and loosely
dressed and seems to have no sense of personal
boundaries as he crowds in between them.

DAVID
Friends! Friends! Have you come for the grand
adventure? The spiral cataclysm which awaits us all!
(he backs up a step and holds his palms
up)
There's no rush, no rush.
(he smiles)

THALIA
We're just looking for a telephone.

DAVID
(instantly)
Ah, the phone, the phone. That modern marvel of
mechanistic mastication. Show and it shall be shown!
Did you witness the wind just now? It was entrancing.
If you follow the breeze you will go where it goes.

WINSTON
Wonderful. Now please excuse us.

Winston, guiding Thalia by the elbow, turns and
begins to walk away, but David isn't put off that
easily. As they head towards the opposite side of
the stage, he bounces beside them, first on one
side, then the other, and continues to babble

DAVID
There used to be a family of monkeys around here. A
famous rocker brought 'em and left 'em. You would know
who I am talking about, but silence! I am sworn to
silence! Matter of reputation and all. One of those
monkeys - folks got to calling him Sparky - well, that
little guy climbed up this telephone pole right here,
got himself electrocuted on that wire right there.
(pointing up)
Some folks say you can still hear that howler monkey
howling on especially cold and windy nights.

THALIA
How awful
!

DAVID
Oh no. That wasn't so bad. What was awful was when he
got eaten by coyotes.

WINSTON
Oh my god!

DAVID
The other monkeys, they took it as an omen and
skedaddled. Nobody knows where they got to after that.
Now, Sparky's ghost ...

THALIA
Don't tell me.

DAVID
But you have to know about Sparky's ghost.

The three are now standing on the side of the
stage in front of a small yellow housefront.
Winston has put his hand out as if to push David
away.

WINSTON
Enough!

THALIA
(nearly shouting)
I only want to use a phone.

ACT ONE

SCENE SIX

The door opens, and a hardy old man - NOLAN -
comes out onto the porch

NOLAN
(rubbing his hands together)
Guests! How nice. David? What are you telling these
good people?
(to Thalia)
Is he lecturing you?

THALIA
He was only telling stories.

WINSTON
Yes, stories.

DAVID
(shrugging)
The spiral contains all infinite possibilities.

NOLAN
(shaking his head)
David!

DAVID
But they need to know about Sparky's ghost!

NOLAN
I will tell them, I promise.
(then, to Thalia and Winston)
Did I hear you say you needed a phone? Please, come in.
You can use mine.

THALIA
(to herself)
Let's hope this one's actually plugged in.

NOLAN
(overhearing, and looking back)
David can be a bit dramatic at times, but he means
well. We hardly ever get a new audience around here. He
can't help himself.

In a bit of theatrical symmetry, the three leave
the stage by the doorway to the right, while David
leaves all the way to the left. Then the three
emerge back onto the stage from the door in the
middle of the back and are now in Nolan's home.
Compared to Henrietta's, this place is quite neat
and organized and there are no signs of cats.

NOLAN
My name is Nolan. Nolan Abbott.

WINSTON
Winston Jennings, and my wife, Thalia.

NOLAN
(seemingly intrigued by the name)
Did you say Thalia?

THALIA
Yes, that's me. And your phone is?

NOLAN
Of course. Right there on the wall.

Thalia walks over to the left side of the stage,
where an old black rotary phone is attached to the
wall by a curly black cord, old-fashioned style.
She lifts the phone off the hook and stares at it
for a moment.

WINSTON
You have to dial it
.

THALIA
I can see that.

Thalia begins dialing after checking her phone for
the number.

THALIA
Where's the button for the speaker phone?

NOLAN
The what?

WINSTON
Those don't have it, dear. We'll just have to do
without hearing that voice.

THALIA
Mercedes? Murse? Is that you? Can you talk? What?
You're in a church? They're what? What kind of gestures?
Do you want to call me back? Okay. No, listen, you were
right. There was nothing there, just a rundown old
shack. Yes, I did throw up, you were right about that
too. And the what? Oh that. It's just a hole in the
ground. A hole. Yes. In the ground. No. No. No. Not at
all. They're what? They're asking you to leave? What?
Why would I want to go to hell? Oh, you meant that they
should. Maybe I should get off now. Hello? Listen, my
cellphone doesn't work here. IT DOESN'T WORK HERE. I'll
have to call you later. When I can. Yes. When I get
home. Tonight. I promise. What? Don't touch you? Are
you all right? Oh, dang. There she goes.

Mercedes hangs the phone back up on the wall and
turns to Nolan

THALIA
Thank you so much. You're very kind.

NOLAN
Not at all.

THALIA
We'll be going now.

WINSTON
And not a moment too soon.

NOLAN
Are you sure?

WINSTON
It's a long drive back to the city, and we've seen what
we came to see.

NOLAN
Which was? If you don't mind my asking.

THALIA
Nothing much, in fact. Rainbow Springs. It's a long
story.

NOLAN
I knew your father.

THALIA
What?

NOLAN
Nikos Castaneda. You are his daughter, aren't you?

THALIA
But how did you, how do you, what?

NOLAN
You said your name was Thalia, and you seem to be
around the right age. And you came to see Rainbow
Springs. I just put two and two together. After all, I
did know your father. Come, let me show you something.
It won't take long, I promise.

Winston and Thalia exchange glances. Thalia,
intrigued, motions to follow Nolan, who has headed
towards the door. Winston shakes his head, points
to his watch, but Thalia gestures again and
Winston relents, shrugs, and follows her out the
door

ACT ONE

SCENE SEVEN

They are walking, up a hill, through the trees.
Nolan leading the way, whistling, with Thalia keeping up
with him and then Winston, trailing behind.

NOLAN
(reciting a poem)
Lonely, creature from the forest, now wandering through
the fields, keeps glancing back, trying to see the tree
where it was born. So many yet, each one could be the
one.

WINSTON
There ARE a lot of them, that's for sure.

THALIA
It's a nice thought. Each one could be the one.

WINSTON
(snorting)
You could say the same for ticks and blades of grass.

NOLAN
Yes, yes you could. The infinite does scale nicely.

WINSTON
(now glancing around nervously)
I wish I hadn't thought of ticks.

NOLAN
We're coming to your father's favorite spot. He would
have wanted you to see it, at least once. He talked
about you often, how he wished he could have seen you.
He wanted to, very much, right up to the end.

THALIA
I was always told he had abandoned us, my mother and I.

NOLAN
Abandoned you? Hardly. Cast out was more like it. His
side of the story, at least. And now?

THALIA
My mother passed away. That's how I even found out
about this place. I thought no one knew where he'd got
to.

NOLAN
He did sort of want it that way. He kept himself off
the grid for the most part, had as little to do with
the system as possible. He didn't abandon you in
particular so much as he abandoned the civilized world
as best he could.

THALIA
He could have looked me up any time.

NOLAN
Oh, he did. He did. He knew when you graduated from
high school, and from college. He knew when you got
married. He kept an eye on you, in his own way, but
right after your wedding he had a heart attack. Too
late. That's why the place is in such a bad state now.
It's been a long time since anyone cared for it.

THALIA
I still don't know why he never wrote, or called.

NOLAN
We're almost there.

They arrive at a spot and stop. Thalia's eyes
light up and her mouth opens in amazement as she
looks all around in every direction. Winston
catches up, panting, and glances around but
apparently doesn't see what she sees, at least not
in the same way. Thalia is entranced. Nolan,
standing beside her, nods his head.

NOLAN
Nikos always said this place was magic. From the moment
he first stood here, pretty much right where you are
standing now, he was captivated, or as he put it, "I
finally found it."

THALIA
(eyes widening)
I can see it. Wow. Would you look at that?

WINSTON
(indifferently)
Yeah. More trees.

THALIA
And the ocean. And the mountains. I can see it. I think
I know what he meant. It's all right here.

Lights fade and out to end Act One.



INTERMISSION

ACT TWO

SCENE ONE

Winston and Thalia are sitting in cozy chairs in
their comfortable living room. She is reading a
book. He is reading his handheld device. The decor
makes it clear that they are quite well off.
Thalia looks up.

THALIA
How interesting. My father says that ...

WINSTON
(interrupting, without looking up from
his device)
Again?

THALIA
What do you mean?

WINSTON
Ever since that old man gave you his copy of your
father's book, it's all you ever talk about. The book,
your father, or that place.

THALIA
I find it interesting.

WINSTON
Well I don't.

THALIA
Why not?

WINSTON
(now looking up)
Because it's all nonsense.

THALIA
What's nonsense? Making the world a better place?
Trying to be happy is nonsense?

WINSTON
When was the world ever a better place? These things
just don't happen and wishing for them doesn't make it
so.

THALIA
My father never talked about wishing.

WINSTON
Sure he does. "Ask the universe", he says. Isn't that
right? Just ask the universe and presto change-o, there
you go. World? Better place.

THALIA
That's not what he says at all, and I disagree. The
world HAS been a better place whenever and wherever
people have made it so, like at Rainbow Springs.

WINSTON
Rainbow Springs? You're joking. I've read the letters,
remember? And I've seen the place. There's no
correlation. According to your father, it's a paradise.
According to reality, it's a dump.

THALIA
A dump?

WINSTON
A dump in the middle of nowhere. Maybe that's
somebody's idea of paradise, but it isn't mine.

THALIA
Maybe it's mine

WINSTON
Yours? I don't think so. You don't even like to go
outside. I know you.

THALIA
Oh, you know me?

WINSTON
I know you like to be warm and cozy and have all your
things around you all the time. You don't like camping,
You're afraid of the dark, afraid of bugs, you wouldn't
last a single night out there, especially without your
cell phone.

THALIA
(angrily)
Maybe you know me like I knew my father. Not at all.

WINSTON
That's different.

THALIA
Is it? I wonder.
(pauses)
I'm going, you know.

WINSTON
Going where?

THALIA
Rainbow Springs. I'm going to restore it. I'm going to
make it what it used to be, the way it was when my
father was there.

WINSTON
You couldn't possibly ...

THALIA
I could possibly and I will definitely. I've already
applied for the business license. I'm going to fix it
up and ...

WINSTON
You're going to what? You can't even change a
lightbulb!

THALIA
(rising, in anger)
Don't tell me what I can and can't do. I'm going to do
this, and no, I don't need your help. And thanks for
asking!

Thalia leaves the room and the lights go out
.

ACT TWO

SCENE TWO

Thalia and Mercedes are together, in person, in a
coffee shop.

THALIA
So that's what I told him

MERCEDES
How did he take it? What did he say?

THALIA
I don't know and I don't care. I'm done with that. My
father wrote that a person has to be prepared to ask
the universe for help, and accept everything that it
offers. Also you have to align yourself with your time
and your place.

MERCEDES
How do you do that?
(swiveling her head around)
Do you stand over here, or over there?

THALIA
Not like that, silly. He means you have to find your
spot.

MERCEDES
I like this spot right here very much. I have the man
seat, you know.

THALIA
The man seat?

MERCEDES
Sure. Whenever you sit in a restaurant or cafe with
someone, the man seat is the best seat, where you get
the best view. Haven't you noticed? The man always
wants the seat with the better access
.

THALIA
To check out other women, you mean.

MERCEDES
Precisely.

THALIA
And whom are you checking out right now?

MERCEDES
(confidentially)
That guy in the suit with the CEO temples.

THALIA
Him? I'll bet he's as boring as his tie. He looks like
every boss I've had for all these years. Why have
I been doing this? What was I thinking? It seems I
hardly even know myself.

MERCEDES
Boring can be worth it.

THALIA
Mercedes! Be serious.

MERCEDES
How can I be serious? You're talking about roughing it
in the woods. And fishing! I hate fish. They're slimy
and smelly and don't even taste good.

THALIA
It's not about the fish.

MERCEDES
And you don't even know anyone there.

THALIA
I can't explain. I just feel I have to go. I have to be
there.
(shrugs)
It's my spot.

MERCEDES
Let me get this straight. You went for a walk. You saw
a nice view, and now you're just going to pack up your
things and move there?

THALIA
I've already packed. I'm not taking much. Some clothes,
some blankets, kitchen stuff. I've planned it all out,
and I'm leaving today. Right now, in fact.

MERCEDES
Right now?

THALIA
(getting up, and giving Mercedes a kiss
on the cheek)
Right now. I'll call you as soon as I can. Good bye,
Murse.

MERCEDES
(turning around in her seat, too
surprised to get up)
Goodbye?

ACT TWO

SCENE THREE

Thalia is in the cabin in Rainbow Springs. The
phone man - HARLEY - is working on putting in the
phone.

HARLEY
It's a good thing you're right on the main road.
Usually when I have to come out here I have a heck of a
time finding the house.

THALIA
So you come here a lot?

HARLEY
Not much. Once a month at most. There's not a lot going
on around here. What brings you, if you don't mind my
asking?

THALIA
It used to be my father's place. Maybe you knew him?
Nikos Castaneda?

HARLEY
No. Must've been before my time. Seems like nobody's
been in this place for a while. You just got the
electrical hooked up?

THALIA
Yesterday.

HARLEY
Looks to be mostly electrical. Stove, hot water, don't
see any heaters besides that wood stove there.

THALIA
Right.

HARLEY
(looking around as he packs up his kit)
Place needs a lot of work. Going to do it yourself?

THALIA
That's the plan
.

HARLEY
Well, I wish you luck.

THALIA
Thanks, and thanks for the phone.

HARLEY
Take care.

Harley leaves and Thalia is alone in the cabin.
She also looks around, up at the ceiling (through
which daylight can be seen), over at the cracked
and broken windows, down at the broken floor.

THALIA
(to herself)
Okay lady. Now what?

The sound of a car is heard. It stops. A car door
is heard to open, then close again after a few
moments. Then the car starts up again and drives
off. Thalia has been looking out.

THALIA
The mailman! I wonder what it is?

She rushes off stage and is heard running out to
the road and running back. She is very excited as
she opens a letter and begins to read. Then her
body language indicates her disappointment. She
stands, letting her hand with the letter fall by
her side.

THALIA
No!
(pauses)
Just no.
(she sighs, then walks slowly to the
telephone, picks it up, and presses the
numbers)

MERCEDES
Hello?

THALIA
(dejected)
Hi Murse. It's me. Can you talk?

MERCEDES
Sure. I'm just in the waiting room at the doctor's.

THALIA
Are you okay?

MERCEDES
(loudly, as usual)
Oh yeah. Just a little trouble, you know, down there.

THALIA
Yikes.

MERCEDES
No worries. How about you? How's my Goldilocks doing?
Everything just right?

THALIA
No

MERCEDES
No as in 'not quite' or no as in 'not at all'

THALIA
No as in I don't know. I thought I had it all figured
out, Murse, and it was going so well. I had the power
company in here and got the lights and everything
going. And I just had the phone put in. I've been
calling around to get bids on the roof and stuff, and
now, just now, just like that. Poof.

MERCEDES
Poof? What do you mean? It didn't all burn down, did
it? Faulty wiring?

THALIA
It might as well have. No. I got a letter from the
county. You know I applied for the license to get the
business going again. They said "no". Just plain "no".

MERCEDES
No as in 'not at all' or no as in 'not right now'?

THALIA
Might as well be 'not at all'. They've got a list of
conditionals. You wouldn't believe this list. First
I've got to get the buildings up to code. Okay, I know
that. That's all right. Then the pond, inspections and
the like. All right. But then listen to this. I need to
get the land surveyed. I need to get a landslide study
done. I need to get two environmental impact reports,
one for the water and the well, and the other for some
kind of endangered mosquito.

MERCEDES
Ha! Every mosquito gets endangered the moment I see it.

THALIA
And that's not all. There's a flood plain study, a
soils report, a survey for the existence of a
potentially rare shrub, a honeybee virus report, a deer
trail impact inspection, and even that's not all. It's
impossible.

MERCEDES
And expensive

THALIA
But mostly impossible. All of that would take me years
and in the meantime, what am I supposed to do? Oh
Murse, is it all for nothing? Did I ask the universe
just to hear it say 'no'?

MERCEDES
What's the return address?

THALIA
What do you mean?

MERCEDES
I mean, who sent the letter, the universe or the
county?

THALIA
I get it. You're right. But I don't know what I'm going
to do. Wait. I think there's someone here. Yes. I'll
call you back, okay?

Thalia hangs up the phone as there is a knock on
the door. She opens it and Nolan comes in.


ACT TWO

SCENE FOUR

THALIA
Come in. Please, come in. It's so nice to see you.

NOLAN
I saw the lights on last night. Haven't seen lights in
here in years.
(he starts looking around)
I don't see anything else that's new.

THALIA
I've just been here a couple of days. Look, I've got a
phone now!

NOLAN
Yes, a phone. Very good.
(recites)
However strong, however vain, a single link is not a
chain.
(then adds)
You're shivering.

THALIA
I guess it is a little cold in here.

NOLAN
That wood stove seems to be in decent shape.

THALIA
I wouldn't know.

NOLAN
Let me take a look.

Nolan goes over to the woodstove and kneels down
to peer inside.

THALIA
I don't know if that's going to be necessary.

NOLAN
If you want to be warm, it will. Unless you're
planning to plug in some space heaters.
(looking up)
Got to do something about that roof as well.

THALIA
I know. There's a lot to do. I've been calling around,
but now I don't know. I just don't know.

NOLAN
(standing up again)
Well, you got the electrical and a phone put in, so I
figure you're planning on something.

THALIA
I was planning to stay. Fix it all up. The works. I was
even going to reopen the fishing pond, but then, just
now, I got this.

Thalia hands over the letter and Nolan reads it

NOLAN
(shaking his head)
Typical. I'm surprised they didn't mention the
blue-nosed woodpecker

THALIA
They did. Paragraph five.

NOLAN
So they did. Well, there's ways and then there's ways.

THALIA
What do you mean?

NOLAN
Your father met with the same response at first.

THALIA
What did he do?

NOLAN
What did he do? One thing at a time. What else can you
do? And the first thing is to fix that roof.

THALIA
And then the windows.

NOLAN
And the floor.

THALIA
And the front steps.

NOLAN
And the sign.

THALIA
And I don't know how to do any of that stuff

NOLAN
And I do

THALIA
Do you? Could you? Would you? Of course I can pay you,
but, oh, you'll think I'm silly.

NOLAN
What is it?

THALIA
I'd like to learn, really I would.

NOLAN
If you're willing to work.

THALIA
I want to. Yes. That's what I want.

NOLAN
Then we'd better start making a list.

THALIA
Now that's something I can definitely do. I even have a
pen and paper in the bedroom.

Thalia exits to fetch a pen and paper, leaving
Nolan standing there, smiling, as the lights fade
out.

ACT TWO

SCENE FIVE

Nolan and Thalia are working on repairing the
front porch. The scenery should show that the roof
is fixed, and the steps, and that the place is in
better shape than before. Some time has clearly
passed. Thalia is now wearing dirty overalls and
is smudged with mud and sweat, a far cry from the
earlier, elegant lady. She looks up and sees DAVID
approaching from the side.

THALIA
Uh-oh, it's the return Sparky's ghost.

NOLAN
Uh-oh? Oh, it's David. Hey, David, how are you?

DAVID
(approaches and makes a slight bow)
Hi Nolan. Hello, Miss.

THALIA
Thalia

DAVID
Hello, Miss Thalia. Ghosts, is it? So you know about
that now.

THALIA AND NOLAN
No

DAVID
Around here we pretty much blame everything on Sparky's
ghost. If the power goes out - and it does, and it will
- it's Sparky's fault. If a horse gets spooked? Sparky.
If it rains too much or too little, you know whose
fault it is.

THALIA
Let me guess. Sparky?

DAVID
(laughing)
So you DO know.

THALIA
I do now.

DAVID
So if anything goes wrong, just blame it on Sparky's
ghost.

THALIA
I used to think that's what my husband was for, until I
suddenly realized one day that he was good for nothing.

DAVID
Well, there's usually enough blame to go around. In fact, you
could never run out! It's like an endless series of
recursive concentric circles - not the onion variety,
that metaphor's been done to death. Something else. Let
me see.
(rubbing his chin)

NOLAN
Improvisational philosophy can be tricky.

DAVID
Wait a moment, I think I'm about to channel a galactic
host.

NOLAN
(returning to work)
Don't mind us. We'll stay out of yuur way.

DAVID
(lauging)
Oh never mind. You've done a lot of work here, I can
see.


NOLAN
Still a long way to go, but yes, we've been at it.

THALIA
Nolan's been teaching me.

DAVID
And he's a fine teacher. I know.

NOLAN
I've been thinking we could use your expertise.

THALIA
We could?

NOLAN
Yes. David's a plumber, and a mason. Isn't that right,
David?

DAVID
I've been known to fix a pipe or two, and patch the odd
cement now and then.

NOLAN
(gesturing towards the empty pond)
Got 'em both.

DAVID
You don't say. Hmmm.
(walks over to the cement perimeter)
Been a long time since I worked on this baby.

THALIA
You worked on it?

DAVID
Sure, it was me and my old friend Nikos who built this
thing, from scratch. Dug out the pit by hand, laid the
pipe, hooked it up to the well out back, lined the
walls and just about everything.

THALIA
Nikos was my father.

DAVID
Really? Well, tell the truth I already knew that.

THALIA
How did you know?

DAVID
(winking at Nolan)
Word gets around. You might have noticed it's a pretty
small town.

THALIA
If you call it a town.

DAVID
True. Most folks call it a woodsy hamlet.

THALIA
I like that.

DAVID
Your father did too. Yes, he made it all happen once
upon a time. When he came here it was mostly folks
minding their own business. I don't know where he got
the idea of making a fishing hole. Damndest thing I
ever heard of. Usually people go fishing in a river or
a lake, or even the ocean, like Henrietta.

THALIA
Henrietta?

DAVID
Sure, that fine lady you were visiting the first time
you and I met. She's the one who helped your father
figure out the business, how to stock the fish, how to
go about it.

THALIA
How did she know?

DAVID
Deep-sea fisherwoman, that's what she was. When she
wasn't flying her charter plane, she and her husband
worked the sea, taking tourists out on weekends, all
that sort of thing. When Nikos came around, he wanted
to do something big, something different, but didn't
know what. Hey, what do you know, here she is.

HENRIETTA walks slowly onto the stage from the
same side David had.

HENRIETTA
My ears were burning up over there. I figured you were
talking about me.

THALIA
Hello, and welcome

HENRIETTA
Hello there, Nikos daughter. I've been meaning to pay
you a call, so when I saw this ruffian making his way
over I figured I'd better come and make sure he behaved
himself.

THALIA
He's been a perfect gentleman.

HENRIETTA
That's what I'm worried about! You never know with this
fellow. Men in general.

THALIA
He was just telling me that you helped my father get
the fishing resort going.

HENRIETTA
Craziest thing. I never thought it would work. People
love to fish, sure. Don't I know it? Made a decent
living off of that desire, but fishing in a durned hole
in the ground? That's too easy. Where's the challenge?
Where's the sport? Why, you're bound to catch something
every time, especially trout. They're greedy buggers
and stupid as anything.

DAVID
But that was just the point, wasn't it? It was easy.
Made it a guaranteed family affair. Kids were bound to
catch at least one every time, and no one was going to
get seasick either.

NOLAN
I thought it was genius.

HENRIETTA
And I thought it was nuts, but it was neither. It was
just ... It was just nice. Nikos made it that way. Not
too fancy. Not too shabby either.

DAVID
(gesturing)
Used to have a little stand right over there. It's all
gone now. Be easy to put it back up. It was where you'd
get the fish measured and cleaned and stowed in a nice
little bag of ice if you liked.

NOLAN
People paid by the size of the fish

HENRIETTA
And there was a limit, wasn't there? No more than
three. Nikos wanted to keep the greediness to a
minimum. Hard to do with humans. But don't mind me.
Crankiness is my forte.

DAVID
Isn't that supposed to be pronounced "fort"?

HENRIETTA
And that's enough out of you, Davey Croquet.

DAVID.
You mean Crockett.

HENRIETTA
Right. Crock it, and stuff it!

Nolan laughs as David is silenced.

NOLAN
Aye, you know she weaves a tender trap!

THALIA
So that's how it's done!

NOLAN
But no one ever said Nikos was much of a businessman.
He was leaking money the whole time.

DAVID
It doesn't always have to be about business. Nikos said
so himself. He didn't care if he made a dime off of it.

THALIA
I was planning to re-open it, but the county denied my
application.

HENRIETTA
The county! What do they know? Why, you could work
around that easy.

THALIA
I could? How?

HENRIETTA
Like David said, just don't charge.

THALIA
But I can't afford to give three fishes away to every
one who shows up.

NOLAN
Not unless you could do the same with loaves. That
would be a nice trick, though.

DAVID
But you could accept donations now, couldn't you?

THALIA
Donations!

DAVID
Sure, like a tip jar.

HENRIETTA
Now you're thinking.

NOLAN
For Nikos it was never about business. It was always
about people. He wanted to make this a place where
people could go to get together and do stuff, or get
together and not do stuff, and for a while, it was just
that.

DAVID
It really was. People used to come from all over, those
who knew about it.

HENRIETTA
Those were good days.

THALIA
Maybe it can be that way again. Maybe ...

ACT TWO

SCENE SIX

Thalia makes her way to the middle of the stage.
To one side is the stand, as David described, with
a counter and a sink and supplies. David and Nolan
and Henrietta are in shadow on the sides of the
stage

THALIA
Maybe we can fix up the house and we put that stand
back up the way it was. What else do we need?

An artist, GREGORY, appears on the scene, carrying
a big old pack

GREGORY
I could fix up that big old sign for you. I'd be happy
to. And how about that shed over there? It'd be perfect
for an art studio. I could give lessons there. It'd be
a great spot. Love the view.

Gregory pulls out small cans of paint and brushes
and goes to work on the RAIN O RINGS sign. As the
scene develops, the other letters in the sign
appear one by one, and all of the letters are
freshly and brightly colored (unveiled, perhaps,
as strips, one at a time, during the scene).

NOLAN
I always thought that shack would make a good studio. I
think it might need more light, though. I'll put in
more windows, and a skylight.

Nolan picks up some tools and goes to work on the
shed, which shows improvements throughout the rest
of the scene.

DAVID
The pond's in need of repairs, that's for sure. I'd
better get going on the pipes and the patching.

DAVID heads over to the pond area with some tools,
where later in the scene a fountain comes
springing out with water flowing.

HENRIETTA
We're going to need some fish, that's for sure. And
bait, and some fishing poles, and hooks. I know just
who to talk to.

HENRIETTA goes into the house to make calls, and
later in the scene emerges with fishing poles and
sets them up against the house.

THALIA
(laughing)
Anything else? Hey, universe, are you listening, 'cause
I'm asking, and I'll say yes to anything that comes
along.

A young girl - ANNIE - comes up on the stage

ANNIE
Excuse me, are you Miss Thalia? My mama told me to tell
you we want to make a puppet show here. We think we
could make good use of that space right over there.
We'll make the puppets and the show. We just need a
place. Can we use yours? Can we?

THALIA
Of course you can, darling. Of course!

ANNIE goes skipping to the side, where she begins
to pull out puppets and act out a skit. PAULINE
enters and approaches

PAULINE
Are you the proprietor?

THALIA
Yes, yes. That's what I am.
(laughing, and then, raising her hands
in the air and pronouncing the word as
if it were a monster in a Japanese
movie)
Proprie-tor!

PAULINE
I just love this spot. I'm a caterer and I want to host
some picnic-type events here. Do you think that would
be possible?

THALIA
All things are possible. I say "yes"

PAULINE moves off and now a lean, bearded character
comes up. It is DANIEL, carrying a guitar

DANIEL
Hi. Somebody told me you had a stage you weren't using.

THALIA
Yes I do. Or I will. Yes, I will.

DANIEL
Because my friends and I want to put on a festival
here. It's quite the place. Quite a place.

THALIA
It's beautiful, isn't it? It's just like a dream.

ACT TW0

SCENE SEVEN

DANIEL goes over to where the stage is imagined to
be, and begins to play the guitar, a sort of solo
acoustic friendly reggae sound a la Nigel Webb
would be good here, as people will begin to dance
as the scene develops.

The RAINBOW SPRINGS sign is now complete and
freshly painted, with GREGORY standing beside it.
The fountain is flowing in the pond,. The fishing
poles are leaning against the side of the house.
There are benches alongside the pond, and now
people come onto to stage, one by one or in
groups, to take places on the benches, and some,
including children, start fishing.

A child catches a fish and jumps up and down with
excitement. This becomes contagious as other
people get up and begin dancing, as the music
becomes louder, and DANIEL comes down to the
middle of the stage. As the dancers gather around
him, the main actors, one by one, manage to exit
the stage without being noticed. They are about to
reappear from the door of the main cabin at the
back of the stage.

The music and dancing continue, and then WINSTON
and LAMBERT make an entrance onto the stage from
inside the house, to dance, and take a bow as the
crowd parts. They join the crowd which gathers
together again around DANIEL, and the same pattern
is followed by HENRIETTA and DAVID, and then by
NOLAN, and then by THALIA, as they all get their
moment to take their bows, and that's all, folks,
it's

THE END

Review Notes of First Draft

Andrew Lichtenberg

The dialog is all about plot. There's no small talk, no background. The characters need to live a little through their dialog



Terry Adams


What a wonderful ambitious undertaking! I've read the first act so far. I'll continue later. It really does hold my interest - I like the humor - the characters are coming alive - excellent! My only criticism at this point is that I think it could move faster in a few places. For instance, at the very beginning, the play could open with Winston & Thalia already sitting at Lambert's desk, Thalia crying/sniffling, the paper bundles just being handed across - - - - maybe. ---although I like the business with the formal/informal name exchanges.

(maybe, but I kind of like the contrast between the opening and ending scenes ...)

Delma Soult:

I love it and I think it can work!. It flows pretty nicely and it is hilarious in some portions. I love Henrietta and Thalia and Winston.
Well, all of the characters are great. Have you thought about possible actors/actresses? Is Frannie the puppeter's daughter? ;-)
My only concern is the staging..Many short scenes with different staging needs but I am sure we could think on how to integrate the main set up and accomplish all scenes with help of an expert. The last scene is great --the only thing again is how to accomplish all the aspects in the stage.

Anyway, i think overall it is a great play and I am sure it would be very succesful in La Honda.
Does Betsy want to participate too? Does Rosanna? She could be a great Henrietta, though she is moving out of town..who else?
Perhaps Nuala, Siobhan, Tom D., Neil etc. We can use kids as cats..(Ozan, Tallulah, and that age group)..

Hey--what about also including a scene in Apple Jack's with a couple other interesting LH characters that would resemble some our "extravagant" locals..just to add up on the fun..;-) --Perhaps Thalia and Winston can stop in town for directions on their way to the Rainbow Spring..or something like that..
Perhaps they can meet there a a local "writer", "drank" and "hippy"..or things of the sort. These can show at end in the final scene again (as the additional villagers). Also, you could make fun of the fact the "current restaurant" has changed names so many times..

In any case, it is fine as it is, but adding one additional or two scenes "making fun" of current things we all know about would probabbly add on the fun for the audience..

Script in progress - First Draft

CAST OF CHARACTERS

THALIA - AN ATTRACTIVE WOMAN ABOUT 40

MERCEDES - THALIA'S BEST FRIEND AND CONTEMPORARY

WINSTON - THALIA'S HUSBAND, A STOCKBROKER

LAMBERT - A LAWYER

MISS PRENTISS - THE LAWYER'S SECRETARY - OFFSTAGE VOICE ONLY

NOLAN - A RETIRED CARPENTER

DAVID - A MIDDLE-AGED PLUMBER

HENRIETTA - A RETIRED FISHERWOMAN

GREGORY - AN ARTIST

DANIEL - A MUSICIAN

ANNIE - A CHILD PUPPETEER

PAULINE - A CATERER

MISCELLANEOUS VILLAGERS


ACT ONE

SCENE 1

In the office of the lawyer, Mr. Lambert. Lambert
is seated behind a desk, in front of which are two
chairs. He is talking into a speakerphone on his
desk, and fiercely holding down a button on the
device.

LAMBERT
Miss Prentiss, please send in the Jenningseses, er, the
Jennings. I mean ...

MISS PRENTISS
The Jenningses, sir?

LAMBERT
Of course. Those people. Yes. Thank you.

A handsome, very well-dressed middle-aged couple
enter from the side. Lambert rises to greet them,
reaching his arm over the desk to shake their
hands.

LAMBERT
Mr. Jennings. Mrs. Jennings. So nice to see you.

THALIA
Call me Thalia, please, Mr. Lambert.

WINSTON
Mr. Jennings is just fine for me, Mr. Lambert

LAMBERT
Of course, of course. Please, Mr. Jennings and Mrs.
Thalia, please, have a seat.

The couple take the seats in front of the desk and
Lambert sits down again. From a drawer he pulls
out two bundles of papers and pushes them across
the desk.

LAMBERT
The reason I asked you both to come is here in front og
you now. Your mother, Mrs. Jennings ...

THALIA
Thalia

LAMBERT
Sorry, of course. Your mother, Mrs. Thalia, left these
papers for you, in the event of her passing which, as
we know, has only recently occurred. She wished you to
have them as soon as all of the proceedings were
concluded.

THALIA
I wonder what they could be

LAMBERT
They are yours, Mrs Thalia. Please, take them. Mr.
Jennings, if you would be so kind as to sign here. This
merely acknowledges the transaction.

WINSTON
Of course, certainly.

Winston signs the paper offered him while Thalia
gingerly picks up the larger of the two bundles
and unties the ribbon around it. As she does,
several letters fall to the floor, while others
lands in her lap. Flustered, she scatters them all
about as she tries to gather them together.

WINSTON
(condescendingly)
Really, Thalia

THALIA
It makes me nervous. You know I hate surprises. I had
no idea my mother was hiding papers. You read them,
Winston. I'm afraid to.

WINSTON
(sighing)
As you wish, my dear.

Winston gets down on the floor and efficiently
retrieves the papers, sorting them as he rises and
resumes his seat.

LAMBERT
You don't have to read them here, you know. Now that
you've signed for them, feel free to take them with
you. Please, take them.

WINSTON
He wants us to go now

THALIA
Go where? Where does he want us to go?

WINSTON
Anywhere but here is my guess. Come, dear, we'll take
these letters with us.

THALIA
Letters? Is that what they are? Have you read them
already?

WINSTON
Come, Thalia

Thalia gets up too, and they leave the office as
Lambert stands momentarily, then rubs his hands as
the lights dim and the scene ends.

ACT ONE

SCENE TWO

Winston begins to read the letters as they are
walking along the sidewalk.

WINSTON
I thought you said your father abandoned you when you
were a baby.

THALIA
That's right. I never knew him. He just ditched my mom
and me.

WINSTON
Um, maybe not.

THALIA
What do you mean?

WINSTON
(shuffling the papers and pausing to
re-read some sections)
I think you'd better read this.

THALIA
No. You read it to me. I don't want to look.

Winston and Thalia stop walking and remain where
they are for this conversation.

WINSTON
Ok. Here goes. Dear Willow, I'm writing you one more
time to try and convince you to come and join me. You
and little Thalia would love it here, I'm sure. It's
paradise on earth and I'm not exaggerating, this time.
I finally found it. Everything I've been looking for.
Everything we ever dreamed about. Forget the book. This
is real.
(pauses)
What book?

THALIA
Didn't I ever tell you? I'm sure I did. My father wrote
this book. It was a huge bestseller for a while. It was
some kind of spiritual self-help thing called 'The Road
to HarHarHar'

WINSTON
Har har what?

THALIA
HarHarHar

WINSTON
Very funny.

THALIA
Ha. Anyway. he wrote this book and made a pile of money
and then he just took off. I don't think my mother ever
saw him again.

WINSTON
From this it sounds like it was her choice. All of
these letters
(shuffling through them again)
He's asking her to come and join him in a place called
Rainbow Springs.

THALIA
Never heard of it. Are you sure?

WINSTON
It's in every one of these. Come and join me. You will
love it. It's fantastic. Famous artists, musicians,
writers, fishing.

THALIA
Fishing?

WINSTON
It seems like there was some kind of resort there. He
writes about it a lot. Let me see ...

THALIA
I have to call Mercedes.
(takes out her cellphone and presses
speed dial 1)
Mercedes? Can you talk?

MERCEDES
(very loudly)
Sure. I'm putting you on speakerphone.

THALIA
Me too

MERCEDES
I'm just in line here at the supermarket. There's this
fat lady in front of me. You wouldn't believe how much
ice cream she's buying!
(pause, then a little more quietly)
Oops.

THALIA
Did I ever tell you about my father?

MERCEDES
Tell me about him? I knew him! He was a great guy.

THALIA
No, my real dad.

MERCEDES
What? I didn't know your dad was a fake!

THALIA
I mean my birth father.

MERCEDES
Nope

THALIA
I can't believe it. How come nobody knows? I'm sure I
told you guys

MERCEDES AND WINSTON TOGETHER
Nope

THALIA
Come to think of it, I don't really know if my father -
I mean Joel - ever knew about my father either. I mean
Nikos.

MERCEDES
(sing-songy)
Con-fu-sing!

WINSTON
Thalia. There's something else

MERCEDES
What did he say? Hell's bells?

WINSTON
(shouting at the cellphone)
I was talking to her
(then to Thalia in a normal voice)
Apparently it's all yours now

THALIA
What's all mine?

WINSTON
Rainbow Springs
(he holds up a piece of paper)
According to this document, you are now the owner of a
fishing resort in the mountains. And a whole lot of
money, too.

THALIA
How much?

WINSTON
In the six figures

MERCEDES
Did he say stick figures?

WINSTON
(to the phone again)
Can we just talk?

THALIA
Oh, sorry. Later, Murse, gotta go. I'll call you later.
(Thalia puts the cellphone away)
Did you say six figures?

WINSTON
It looks that way. There's a bank account left in trust
for you. It could have been yours at any time since he
passed, but I guess your mother never told you.

THALIA
It's not like we needed the money. We've done pretty
well for ourselves, with your stock-breaking and me
with my bean-counting

WINSTON
Stock brokering.

THALIA
Whatever. It's just like mom. She never saw anything
good that she didn't think was bad. She definitely
would have looked THIS gift horse in the mouth.

Winston and Thalia walk off the stage to end the
scene





ACT ONE

SCENE THREE

Winston and Thalia are about to get into their
car, standing on either side of it.

WINSTON
Time to survey your new domain?

THALIA
It's certainly a mystery. You'd think there would have
been more information online. Instead? Almost nothing.

WINSTON
Your father describes it as a famous resort.

THALIA
Maybe it's so exclusive that no one can ever know about
it
(her cellphone rings)
Hi Murse. Let me put you on speakerphone

Winston rolls his eyes as he gets into the
driver's side of the car. Thalia gets in the
passenger side

MERCEDES
I found something about your Rainbow Springs. First,
how to get there. Listen to this. It says "go west on
84 until you want to throw up. That's how you'll know
you're there."

WINSTON
delightful

THALIA
What else does it say?

MERCEDES
Nothing much.

THALIA
Tell me

MERCEDES
I just did. It says, when you get to Rainbow Springs,
there's nothing much.

THALIA
Where did you find this font of information?

MERCEDES
Tiny Towns Tabulated Dot Com

WINSTON
Terrific. Well, here we go.

Lights dim as the sound of car engine revs up.
Remain in semi-darkness for a minute or two, with
occasional squealing tire sounds. Thalia and
Winston can be seen rolling left, rolling right.
Thalia is holding on to the upper door handle. The
lights gradually come up again.

THALIA
Mercedes? Murse? Are you there?
(pause but no answer)

WINSTON
(muttering)
Some silences are more golden than others.

THALIA
(inspecting her phone)
No service. Darn.

WINSTON
We must be nearly there. Didn't she say it would be
around forty minutes?

THALIA
Depending on traffic

WINSTON
(laughs)
That's a good one. I haven't seen another car in a
while.

THALIA
I haven't seen anything but trees. I didn't know there
were so many.

WINSTON
Must have had a special on them one time.

THALIA
(peering out the window)
Wait! Is this a town?

WINSTON
Looks like a biker bar and a trash can to me

THALIA
Oh. I thought we might be there

WINSTON
There's supposed to be a sign. Did you see a sign?

THALIA
Nothing yet

Another few moments of silence ensue. Thalia
looking out the window. Winston gripping the
wheel.

THALIA
Wait! I think I see something.

WINSTON
I see it too. It looks like rain o rings. Rain o rings.

THALIA
Rainbow Springs! We're here.

Winston pulls over and they climb out of the car.
The scene now includes an old wooden sign missing
several letters (RAIN O    RINGS) by the side of
the road. In the background are an old, decaying
wooden shack and a smaller out-building in just as
bad repair to one side. On the other side there is
a side of a large, hollow concrete square
perimeter - essentially a line of concrete blocks.

WINSTON
I do almost feel like throwing up. How about you?

Thalia is already retching beside the car.

WINSTON
I guess those directions were accurate. I'm going to
look around.

Winston walks to the small out building, then to
the main cabin, then to the concreter perimeter.
Thalia follows, catching up as he reaches the main
cabin. She is visibly disappointed

THALIA
It's a ruin.

WINSTON
Nothing much. Just like Mercedes said.

THALIA
Mercedes. I have to call her.
(pulls out her phone, but puts it away
again)
I forgot. No service.

WINSTON
No nothing. This must be the famous fishing spot
(pointing at the concrete perimeter and
peering over its edge)
It's empty now. Looks deep enough, ten, maybe twelve
feet. Maybe forty foot square.

THALIA
It's not quite what I pictured, from the letters.

WINSTON
Really
(pulls out a letter from his jacket
pocket and reads)
"The fishing is fabulous. This morning we had guests
pulling out trout like crazy, one of them even eighteen
inches long. The kids were so excited. This really is
the spot."
(puts the letter away)

THALIA
I don't get it.

WINSTON
Me neither. How's a fish even going to get into this
hole? Skydiving?

THALIA
There must be a river somewhere

WINSTON
(peering into the hole again)
Must've dried up or something. Anyway. Should we look
in the house?

Thalia doesn't answer, but tags along as Winston
walks to the back of the stage again. They
gingerly step on the wooden staircase and then 
disappear through a door. After a moment of
silence, a loud bang.

WINSTON
Ow!

THALIA
Watch out!

Another bang is heard, and then a crash of broken
glass, and then Winston comes back through the
door, hopping and clutching his foot. He tumbles
down the steps. Thalia comes hurrying after him,
and kneels beside him

THALIA
Are you okay?

WINSTON
(slowly getting up and dusting himself
off)
Most floors don't have potholes in them

THALIA
Most windows don't just fall out of their frames

WINSTON
Some place you've got here

THALIA
(sheepishly)
Oh. It's nothing much.
(she pauses, giving Winston a chance to
laugh at her little joke, but he
doesn't)
I have got to call Mercedes. There must be a phone
around here somewhere

Thalia walks up to the front of the stage and with
her hand over her eyes, gazes off to the right and
left. Winston joins her and does the same.

WINSTON
There's some kind of a road over there, do you see?
Across the street.

THALIA
Oh yes, and a house. I see it. They probably have a
phone. Let's go.

ACT ONE

SCENE FOUR

Winston is knocking on the front door of an old,
peeling white cottage. Thalia is trying to peek
into the front window, but a lacy curtain blocks
her view. All she can see is a big cat curled up
on the windowsill.

Winston knocks again, and turns, about to say
something, when the door opens behind him. An old
lady - HENRIETTA - is there

HENRIETTA
Good afternoon.

WINSTON
Oh, hello. I thought no one was home

HENRIETTA
(suspiciously)
Did you want no one to be at home?

WINSTON
No, no.

THALIA
Hi. We're not from around here and my cellphone doesn't
work. Do you have a phone?

HENRIETTA
Sure. Of course. Who doesn't? Come in, come on in.

Henrietta turns and walks back into the house
through the door on the left of the stage,
expecting them to follow. All three come out a
door in the middle of the back, returning to the
stage and are now inside of Henrietta's home.
There are cats curled up everywhere, and a clutter
of small tables and small chairs everywhere. Each
small table is littered with porcelain and glass
figurines, mostly of cats. Every chair is covered
with some kind of cloth or clothing. They have to
navigate carefully not to bump into anything.

Winston has begun sneezing from the moment they
entered the house, and as he sneezes, he does bump
into tables, banging his injured knee and knocking
things down.

HENRIETTA
Mind your step. I know it's a little cozy in here. Can
I get you some tea? I have some nice olallieberry tea.
And some pickled preserves? Canned them myself last
winter.

THALIA
Oh, no thank you. Really, don't go to any trouble. I'd
just like to use the phone if I may.

HENRIETTA
It's no trouble, no trouble at all. Find a chair if you
can. Have a seat. I'll be right back.

Winston's sneezing gets worse, and then he's
holding his mouth, gagging as well. Thalia notices
with alarm

THALIA
Please, it's my husband. I think he's allergic

WINSTON
I'll just wait outside if you don't mind.

Winston rushes back out the door they came in by

HENRIETTA
(grumbling)
That doesn't seem natural.

THALIA
It's the cats.

HENRIETTA
(disapproving)
Probably allergic to children too.

THALIA
As a matter of fact ...

HENRIETTA
I can always tell. What are you doing with that man?

THALIA
Doing? He's my husband.

HENRIETTA
That's what I mean.

THALIA
I really don't see how that's any of your business.

HENRIETTA
I suppose if I'm here in my own house I can say what I
want

THALIA
Yes, yes, of course you can.

Henrietta shuffles off to the side of the stage,
where there is a small kitchen, and begins to boil
some water for tea

THALIA
The phone?

HENRIETTA
Forty-seven years

THALIA
Excuse me?

HENRIETTA
I was married forty-seven years and where is he now
that I need him? Dead, that's where.

THALIA
I'm sorry to hear that

HENRIETTA
Just when you need him most

Thalia doesn't answer but begins to pace back and
forth in a small space between tables. The water
begins to boil. Henrietta takes it off the stove
and pours one cup of tea. Then she turns and
enters the room carrying something, but it is not
the cup of tea.

HENRIETTA
Here it is. Here's the phone
(handing a heavy old rotary phone to
Thalia)

THALIA
Great. Now, where do we plug it in?

HENRIETTA
Plug it in?

THALIA
Yes, you know. Connect it? To use it?

HENRIETTA
Well, that wouldn't do any good. I don't have any
service here.

THALIA
(exasperated)
Then why did you say you had a phone?

HENRIETTA
Because I DO have a phone. You're holding it right now.

THALIA
(handing it back and rolling her eyes)
Thank you so much for showing me your phone. Now I
think I'll say goodbye.

Thalia walks to the door and out (off the  back of
the stage) where once again there are sounds of
Winston still sneezing and as the lights go down,
Winston says

WINSTON
My God. I thought I was going to die in there!

ACT ONE

SCENE FIVE

Winston and Thalia are standing outside of
Henrietta's house when a shaggy looking
middle-aged man approaches rapidly and walks right
to them. He is somewhat wild-eyed and loosely
dressed and seems to have no sense of personal
boundaries as he crowds in between them.

DAVID
Friends! Friends! Have you come for the grand
adventure? The cataclysm waits upon us.
(he backs up a step and holds his palms
up)
There's no rush, no rush.
(he smiles)

THALIA
We're just looking for a telephone

DAVID
(instantly)
Ah, the phone, the phone. That modern marvel of
mechanistic mastication. Show and it shall be shown!
Did you witness the wind just now? It was entrancing.
If you follow the breeze you will go where it goes.

WINSTON
That's great. Now please excuse us

Winston, guiding Thalia by the elbow, turns and
begins to walk away, but David isn't put off that
easily. As they head towards the opposite side of
the stage, he bounces beside them, first on one
side, then the other, and continues to babble

DAVID
There used to be a family of monkeys around here. A
world class musician brought 'em and left 'em. You
would know who I am talking about, but silence! I am
sworn to silence! Matter of reputation and all. One of
those monkeys - folks got to calling him Sparky - well,
that little guy climbed up this telephone pole right
here, got himself electrocuted on that wire right
there.
(pointing up)
Some folks say you can still hear that howler monkey
howling on especially cold and windy nights.

THALIA
How awful

DAVID
Oh no. That wasn't so bad. What was awful was when he
got eaten by coyotes.

WINSTON
Oh my god!

DAVID
The other monkeys, they took it as an omen and
skedaddled. Nobody knows where they got to after that.
Now, Sparky's ghost ...

THALIA
Don't tell me.

DAVID
But you have to know about Sparky's ghost.

The three are now standing on the side of the
stage in front of a small yellow housefront.
Winston has put his hand out as if to push David
away

WINSTON
Enough!

THALIA
(nearly shouting)
I only want to use a phone.

ACT ONE

SCENE SIX

The door opens, and a hardy old man - NOLAN -
comes out onto the porch

NOLAN
(rubbing his hands together)
Guests! How nice. David? Are you bothering these good
people?
(to Thalia)
Is he bothering you?

THALIA
He was only telling stories.

WINSTON
Yes, he is!

NOLAN
(shaking his head)
David!

DAVID
But they need to know about Sparky's ghost!

NOLAN
I will tell them, I promise.
(then, to Thalia and Winston)
Did I hear you say you needed a phone? Please, come in.
You can use mine.

THALIA
(to herself)
Let's hope this one's actually plugged in

NOLAN
(overhearing, and looking back)
Of course it is.

In a bit of theatrical symmetry, the three leave
the stage by the doorway to the right, while David
leaves all the way to the left. Then the three
emerge back onto the stage from the door in the
middle of the back and are now in Nolan's home.
Compared to Henrietta's, this place is quite neat
and organized and there are no signs of cats.

NOLAN
My name is Nolan. Nolan Abbott.

WINSTON
Winston Jennings, and my wife, Thalia.

NOLAN
(seemingly intrigued by the name)
Did you say Thalia?

THALIA
Yes, that's me. And your phone is?

NOLAN
Of course. Right there on the wall.

Thalia walks over to the left side of the stage,
where an old black rotary phone is attached to the
wall by a curly black cord, old-fashioned style.
She lifts the phone off the hook and stares at it
for a moment.

WINSTON
You have to dial it

THALIA
I can see that. I just didn't know they still had these
anymore, or if they even still work.

Thalia begins dialing after checking her phone for
the number.

THALIA
Where's the speaker phone?

NOLAN
The what?

WINSTON
Those don't have it. We'll just have to do without
hearing her voice.

THALIA
Mercedes? Murse? Is that you? Can you talk? What?
You're in church? They're what? What kind of gestures?
Do you want to call me back? Okay. No, listen, you were
right. There was nothing there, just a rundown old
shack. Yes, I did throw up, you were right. And the
what? Oh that. It's just a hole in the ground. A hole.
Yes. In the ground. No. No. No. Not at all. They're
what? They're asking you to leave? What? Why would I
want to go to hell? Oh, you meant that they should.
Maybe I should get off now. Hello? Listen, my cellphone
doesn't work here. IT DOESN'T WORK HERE. I'll have to
call you later. When I can. Yes. When I get home.
Tonight. I promise. What? Don't touch you? Are you all
right? Oh, dang. There she goes.

Mercedes hangs the phone back up on the wall and
turns to Nolan

THALIA
Thank you so much. You're very kind.

NOLAN
Not at all.

THALIA
We'll be going now.

WINSTON
And not a moment too soon

NOLAN
Are you sure?

WINSTON
It's a long drive back to the city, and we've seen what
we came to see.

NOLAN
Which was? If you don't mind my asking.

THALIA
Rainbow Springs. It's a long story.

NOLAN
I knew your father.

THALIA
What?

NOLAN
Nikos Castaneda. You are his daughter, aren't you?

THALIA
But how did you, how do you, what?

NOLAN
You said your name was Thalia, and you seem to be
around the right age. And you came to see Rainbow
Springs. I just put two and two together. After all, I
did know your father. Come, let me show you something.
It won't take long, I promise.

Winston and Thalia exchange glances. Thalia,
intrigued, motions to follow Nolan, who has headed
towards the door. Winston shakes his head, points
to his watch, but Thalia gestures again and
Winston relents, shrugs, and follows her out the
door

ACT ONE

SCENE SEVEN

Winston and Thalia are ready to leave, but Nolan
doesn't want them to leave with such a bad
impression, so he gets them to agree to walk up to
the top of the hill with him. He wants to show
Thalia her father's favorite spot. Thalia
reluctantly agrees, and when they get to the top
of the hill and look around, it takes her breath
away. Nolan mentions how her father realized that
books were meaningless - "I finally found it" he
declared. Thalia has to confess that she never
read the book. Nolan gives her a copy before they
leave. They drive away, Thalia looking wistfully
behind.

They are walking, up a hill, through the trees.
Nolan leading the way, Thalia keeping up with him
and then Winston, trailing behind.

NOLAN
It was your father's favorite place. He would have
wanted you to see it, at least once. He talked about
you often, how he wished he could have met you. He
wanted to, very much, right up to the end.

THALIA
I was always told he had abandoned us, my mother and I.

NOLAN
And now?

THALIA
My mother passed away. That's how I even found out
about this place. I believed that no one knew where he
had got to.

NOLAN
He did sort of want it that way. He kept himself off
the grid for the most part. No legalities, no
formalities, nothing to do with the system. He didn't
abandon you in particular so much as he abandoned the
civilized world as best he could.

THALIA
He could have looked me up if he wanted to.

NOLAN
Oh, he did. He did. He knew when you graduated from
high school, and from college. He knew when you were
married. He kept an eye on you, in his own way, but
right after that, it was a heart attack. Too late.
That's way the place is in such a bad state now. It's
been a long time.

THALIA
I still don't understand why he never wrote, or called.

NOLAN
We're almost there.

They arrive at a spot and stop. Thalia's eyes
light up and her mouth opens in amazement as she
looks all around in every direction. Winston
catches up, panting, and glances around but
apparently doesn't see what she sees, at least not
in the same way. Thalia is entranced. Nolan,
standing beside her, nods his head.

NOLAN
Nikos always said this place was magic. From the moment
he first stood here, pretty much right where you are
standing now, he was captured, or as he put it, "I
finally found it."

THALIA
I can see it.

WINSTON
See what?

THALIA
I can see it. I think I know what he meant. It's all
right there.

Lights fade and out to end Act One.



INTERMISSION

ACT TWO

SCENE ONE

Winston and Thalia are sitting in cozy chairs in
their comfortable living room. She is reading a
book. He is reading his handheld device. The decor
makes it clear that they are quite well off.
Thalia looks up.

THALIA
How interesting. My father says that ...

WINSTON
(interrupting, without looking up from
his device)
Again?

THALIA
What do you mean?

WINSTON
Ever since that old man gave you his copy of your
father's book, it's all you ever talk about. The book,
your father, or that place.

THALIA
I find it interesting

WINSTON
Well I don't.

THALIA
Why not?

WINSTON
(now looking up)
Because it's all nonsense.

THALIA
Making the world a better place is nonsense? Being
happy is nonsense?

WINSTON
When was the world ever a better place? These things
just don't happen and wishing for them doesn't make it
so.

THALIA
My father never talks about wishing

WINSTON
Sure he does. "Ask the universe", he says. Isn't that
right? Just ask the universe and presto change-o, there
you go. World? Better place.

THALIA
That's not what he says at all, and the world has been
a better place whenever and wherever people have made
it so, like Rainbow Springs.

WINSTON
Rainbow Springs? You're joking. I've read the letters,
remember? And I've seen the place. There's no
correspondence. According to your father, it's a
paradise. According to reality, it's a dump.

THALIA
A dump?

WINSTON
A dump in the middle of nowhere. Maybe that's
somebody's idea of paradise, but it isn't mine.

THALIA
Maybe it's mine

WINSTON
Yours? I don't think so. You don't even like to be
outside that much. I know you.

THALIA
Oh, you know me?

WINSTON
I know you like to be warm and cozy and have all your
things around you all the time. You don't even like
camping, You're afraid of the dark, afraid of bugs, you
wouldn't last a single night out there, especially
without your cell phone.

THALIA
Maybe you know me like I knew my father. Not at all.

WINSTON
That's different.

THALIA
Is it? I wonder.
(pauses)
I'm going back there, you know.

WINSTON
Back where?

THALIA
Rainbow Springs. I'm going to restore it. I'm going to
make it what it used to be, the way it was when my
father was there.

WINSTON
You couldn't possibly ...

THALIA
I could possibly and I will. I've already applied for a
business license. I'm going to fix it up and ...

WINSTON
You can't even change a lightbulb!

THALIA
(rising, in anger)
Don't tell me what I can and can't do. I'm going to do
this, and no, I don't need your help.

Thalia leaves the room and the lights go out




ACT TWO

SCENE TWO

Thalia and Mercedes are together, in person, in a
coffee shop.

THALIA
So that's what I told him

MERCEDES
How did he take it? What did he say?

THALIA
I don't know and I don't care. My father wrote that a
person has to be prepared to ask the universe for help,
and accept everything that it offers. Also you have to
align yourself with your time and your place.

MERCEDES
How do you do that?
(swiveling her head around)
Do you stand over here, or over there?

THALIA
Not like that, silly. He means you have to find your
spot.

MERCEDES
I like this spot right here very much. I have the man
seat, you know.

THALIA
The man seat?

MERCEDES
Sure. Whenever you sit in a restaurant or cafe with
someone, the man seat is the best seat, where you get
the best view. Haven't you noticed? The man always
wants the seat with the better access

THALIA
To check out other women, you mean

MERCEDES
Precisely

THALIA
And who are you checking out right now?

MERCEDES
(confidentially)
That guy in the suit with the CEO temples

THALIA
Him? I'll bet he's as boring as his tie.

MERCEDES
Boring can be worth it

THALIA
Mercedes! Be serious.

MERCEDES
How can I be serious? You're talking about roughing it
in the woods. Fishing even! I hate fish. They're slimy
and smelly and don't even taste good.

THALIA
It's not about the fish.

MERCEDES
And you don't even know anyone there.

THALIA
I can't explain. I just feel I have to go. I have to be
there. It's my spot.

MERCEDES
Let me get this straight. You went for a walk. You saw
a nice view, and now you're just going to pack up your
things and move there?

THALIA
I've already packed. I'm not taking much. Some clothes,
some blankets, some kitchen stuff. I've planned it all
out, and I'm leaving today. Right now, in fact.

MERCEDES
Right now?

THALIA
(getting up, and giving Mercedes a kiss
on the cheek)
Right now. I'll call you as soon as I can. Good bye

MERCEDES
(turning around in her seat, too
surprised to move)
Goodbye?

ACT TWO

SCENE THREE

Thalia is in the cabin in Rainbow Springs. The
phone man - HARLEY - is working on putting in the
phone.

HARLEY
It's a good thing you're right on the main road.
Usually when I have to come out here I have a heck of a
time finding the house.

THALIA
So you come out here a lot?

HARLEY
Not much. Once a month at most. There's not a lot going
on around here. What brings you, if you don't mind my
asking?

THALIA
It used to be my father's place. Maybe you knew him?
Nikos Castaneda?

HARLEY
No, I don't think so. Must've been before my time.
Seems like nobody's been in this place for a while. You
just got the electrical hooked up?

THALIA
Yesterday.

HARLEY
Looks to be mostly electrical. Hot water too?

THALIA
I think so.

HARLEY
(looking around as he packs up his kit)
Place needs a lot of work. Going to do it yourself?

THALIA
That's the plan

HARLEY
Well, good luck with that.

THALIA
Thanks, and thanks for the phone

HARLEY
Take care

Harley leaves and Thalia is alone in the cabin.
She also looks around, up at the ceiling (through
which daylight can be seen), over at the cracked
and broken windows, down at the broken floor.

THALIA
(to herself)
Okay lady. Now what?

The sound of a car is heard. It stops. A car door
is heard to open, then close again after a few
moments. Then the car starts up again and drives
off. Thalia has been looking out.

THALIA
The mailman! I wonder what it is?

She rushes off stage and is heard running out to
the road and running back. She is very excited as
she opens a letter and begins to read. Then her
body language indicates her disappointment. She
stands, letting her hand with the letter fall by
her side.

THALIA
No!
(pauses)
Just no.
(she sighs, then walks slowly to the
telephone, picks it up, and presses the
numbers)

MERCEDES
Hello?

THALIA
(dejected)
Hi Murse. It's me. Can you talk?

MERCEDES
Sure. I'm just in the waiting room at the doctor's.

THALIA
Are you okay?

MERCEDES
(loudly, as usual)
Oh yeah. Just a little trouble, you know, down there.

THALIA
Yikes.

MERCEDES
No worries. How about you? How's my goldilocks doing?
Everything just right?

THALIA
No

MERCEDES
No as in 'not quite' or no as in 'not at all'

THALIA
No as in I don't know. I thought I had it all figured
out, Murse, and it was going so well. I had the power
company in here and got the lights and everything
going. I just had the phone put in. I've been calling
around to get bids on the roof and stuff, and now, just
now, just like that. Poof.

MERCEDES
Poof? What do you mean? It didn't all burn down did it?

THALIA
Might as well have. No. I got a letter from the county.
You know I applied for the license to get the business
going again. They said no. Just plain no.

MERCEDES
No as in 'not at all' or no as in 'not right now'?

THALIA
Might as well be 'not at all'. They've got a list of
conditionals. You wouldn't believe this list. First
I've got to get the buildings up to code. Okay, I know
that. That's all right. Then the pond, inspections and
the like. All right. But then listen to this. I need to
get the land surveyed. I need to get a landslide study
done. I need to get two environmental impact reports,
one for the water and the well, and the other for some
kind of endangered mosquito.

MERCEDES
Ha! Every mosquito I see is endangered the moment I
spot it.

THALIA
And that's not all. There's a flood plain study, a
soils report, a survey for the existence of a
potentially rare shrub, a honeybee virus report, a deer
trail impact inspection, and even that's not all. It's
impossible

MERCEDES
And expensive

THALIA
But mostly impossible. All of that would take me years
and in the meantime, what am I supposed to do? Oh
Murse, is it all for nothing? Did I ask the universe
just to hear it say 'no'?

MERCEDES
What's the return address?

THALIA
What do you mean?

MERCEDES
I mean, who sent the letter, the universe or the
county?

THALIA
I get it. You're right. But I don't know what I'm going
to do. Wait. I think there's someone here. Yes. I'll
call you back, okay?

Thalia hangs up the phone as there is a knock on
the door. She opens it and Nolan comes in.



ACT TWO

SCENE FOUR

THALIA
Come in. Please, come in. It's so nice to see you.

NOLAN
I saw the lights on last night. Haven't seen lights in
here in years.
(he starts looking around)
I don't see anything else that's new.

THALIA
I've just been here a couple of days. Look, I've got a
phone now!

NOLAN
Yes, a phone. Very good. Are you shivering?

THALIA
I guess it is a little cold in here.

NOLAN
That woodstove seems to be in decent shape

THALIA
I wouldn't know

NOLAN
Let me take a look

Nolan goes over to the woodstove and kneels down
to peer inside.

THALIA
I don't know if that's going to be necessary.

NOLAN
If you want to be warm, it ought to help. Unless you've
got a space heater or something.
(looking up)
Got to do something about that roof as well.

THALIA
I know. There's a lot to do. I've been calling around,
but now I don't know. I just don't know.

NOLAN
(standing up again)
Well, you got the electrical and a phone put in, so I
figure you're planning on something.

THALIA
I was planning to stay. Fix it all up. The works. I was
even going to reopen the fishing pond, but then, just
now, I got this.

Thalia hands over the letter and Nolan reads it

NOLAN
(shaking his head)
Typical. I'm surprised they didn't mention the
blue-nosed woodpecker

THALIA
They did. Paragraph five.

NOLAN
So they did. Well, there's ways and then there's ways.

THALIA
What do you mean?

NOLAN
Your father met the same response at first.

THALIA
What did he do?

NOLAN
What did he do? One thing at a time. And the first
thing you've got to do is fix that roof.

THALIA
And the windows.

NOLAN
And this floor

THALIA
And the front steps

NOLAN
And the sign

THALIA
And I don't know how to do any of that stuff

NOLAN
And I do

THALIA
Could you? Would you? Of course I can pay you, but, oh
you'll think I'm silly.

NOLAN
What is it?

THALIA
I'd like to learn, really I would.

NOLAN
If you're willing to work.

THALIA
I want to. Yes. That's what I want.

NOLAN
Then we'd better start making a list.

ACT TWO

SCENE FIVE

Nolan and Thalia are working on repairing the
front porch. The scenery should show that the roof
is fixed, and the steps, and that the place is in
better shape than before. Some time has clearly
passed. Thalia is now wearing dirty overalls and
is smudged with mud and sweat, a far cry from the
earlier, elegant lady. She looks up and sees DAVID
approaching from the side.

THALIA
Uh-oh, it's Sparky's ghost.

NOLAN
Uh-oh? Oh, it's David. Hey, David, how are you?

DAVID
(approaches and makes a slight bow)
Hi Nolan. Hello, Miss.

THALIA
Thalia

DAVID
Hello, Miss Thalia. Ghosts, is it? So you know about
that now.

THALIA / NOLAN
No

DAVID
Around here we pretty much blame everything on Sparky's
ghost. If the power goes out - and it does, and it will
- it's Sparky's fault. If a horse gets spooked? Sparky.
If it rains too much or too little, you know whose
fault it is.

THALIA
Let me guess. Sparky?

DAVID
(laughing)
So you DO know.

THALIA
I do now.

DAVID
So if anything goes wrong, just blame it on Sparky's
ghost

THALIA
I thought that's what my husband was for.

DAVID
Well, there's usually enough to go around. You've done
a lot of work here, I can see.


NOLAN
Still a long way to go, but yes, we've been at it.

THALIA
Nolan's been teaching me.

DAVID
And he's a fine teacher. I know.

NOLAN
I've been thinking we could use your expertise.

THALIA
We could?

NOLAN
Yes. David here's a plumber, and a mason. Isn't that
right, David?

DAVID
I've been known to fix a pipe or two, and patch the odd
cement now and then

NOLAN
(gesturing towards the empty pond)
Got 'em both.

DAVID
You don't say. Hmmm.
(walks over to the cement perimeter)
Been a real long time since I worked on this baby.

THALIA
You worked on it?

DAVID
Sure, me and my old friend Nikos built this thing from
scratch. Dug out the pit by hand, laid the pipe, hooked
it up to the well out back, lined the walls and just
about everything.

THALIA
Nikos was my father

DAVID
Really? Well, tell the truth I already sort of knew
that.

THALIA
How did you know?

DAVID
(winking at Nolan)
Word gets around. You might have noticed it's a pretty
small town.

THALIA
If you call it a town

DAVID
Most folks call it a woodsy hamlet.

THALIA
I like that

DAVID
Your father did too. Yes, he made it all happen once
upon a time. When he came here, there was nothing much.
Folks minding their own business, mostly. I don't know
where he got the idea of making a fishing hole.
Damndest thing I ever heard of. Usually people go
fishing in a river or a lake, or even the ocean, like
Henrietta.

THALIA
Henrietta?

DAVID
Sure, that fine lady you were visiting the first time
you and I met. She's the one who helped your father
figure out the business, how to stock the fish, how to
go about it.

THALIA
How did she know?

DAVID
Deep-sea fisherwoman, that's what she was. She and her
Henry worked the sea for years, took tourists out on
weekends, all of that. When Nikos came around, he
wanted to do something big, something different, but
didn't know what. Hey, what do you know, here she is.

Henrietta walks slowly onto the stage from the
same side David had.

HENRIETTA
My ears were burning up over there. I figured you were
talking about me.

THALIA
Hello, and welcome

HENRIETTA
Hello there, Nikos daughter. I've been meaning to pay
you a call, so when I saw this ruffian making his way
over I figured I'd better come and make sure he behaved
himself.

THALIA
He's been a perfect gentleman.

HENRIETTA
That's what I'm worried about! You never know with this
fellow

THALIA
He was just telling me that you helped my father get
the fishing resort going.

HENRIETTA
Craziest thing. I never thought it would work. People
love to fish, sure. Don't I know it? Made a decent
living off of that desire, but fishing in a
manufactured hole in the ground? That would be too
easy. Where's the challenge? Where's the sport? Why,
you're bound to catch something every time, especially
trout. They're greedy buggers and stupid as anything.

DAVID
But that was just the point, wasn't it? It was easy.
Made it a guaranteed family affair. Kids were bound to
catch one every time, and no one was going to get
seasick either.

NOLAN
I thought it was genius.

HENRIETTA
And I thought it was nuts, but it was neither. It was
just ... It was just nice. Nikos made it nice. Not too
fancy. Not too shabby either. Just right

DAVID
(gesturing)
Used to have a little stand right over there. It's all
gone now. Be easy to put it back up. Where you'd get
the fish measured and cleaned and stowed in a nice
little bag of ice if you liked.

NOLAN
People paid by the size of the fish

HENRIETTA
And there was a limit, wasn't there? Three per family
per visit, if I remember right. Nikos wanted to make
sure no one fished it all out. Wanted to keep things
even.

NOLAN
No one ever said he was much of a businessman.

DAVID
It doesn't always have to be about business. Nikos said
so himself. He didn't really care if he made a dime off
of it. It's just that people seemed to want to pay.

THALIA
I had planned to re-open, but the county denied my
application.

HENRIETTA
The county! What do they know? Why, you could work
around that easy.

THALIA
I could? How?

HENRIETTA
Like David said, just don't charge.

THALIA
But I couldn't afford to just give three fish away to
every one who showed up.

NOLAN
Not unless you could do the same with loaves. That
would be a nice trick, though.

DAVID
But you could accept donations now, couldn't you?

THALIA
Donations!

DAVID
Sure, like a tip jar.

HENRIETTA
Now you're thinking.

NOLAN
It's true for Nikos it wasn't about business. It was
always about people. He wanted to make it somewhere
people can go to get together and do stuff, or get
together and not do stuff, and for a while, it was.

DAVID
It really was. People used to come from all over, those
who knew about it.

HENRIETTA
Those were good days.

THALIA
Maybe it can be that way again. Maybe ...

ACT TWO

SCENE SIX

Thalia is now standing in the middle of the stage.
To one side is the stand, as David described, with
a counter and a sink and supplies. David and Nolan
and Henrietta are in shadow on the sides of the
stage

THALIA
We can fix up the house and we put that stand back up
the way it was. What else do we need?



An artist, GREGORY, appears on the scene, carrying
a big old pack

GREGORY
I could fix up that big old sign for you. I'd be happy
to. And how about that shed over there? It'd be perfect
for an art studio. I could give lessons there. It'd be
a great spot. Love the view.

Gregory pulls out small cans of paint and brushes
and goes to work on the RAIN O RINGS sign. As the
scene develops, the other letters in the sign
appear one by one, and all of the letters are
freshly and brightly colored (unveiled, perhaps,
as strips, one at a time, during the scene).

NOLAN
I always thought that shack would make a good studio. I
think it might need more light, though. I'll put in
more windows, and a skylight.

Nolan picks up some tools and goes to work on the
shed, which shows improvements throughout the rest
of the scene.

DAVID
The pond's in need of repairs, that's for sure. I'd
better get going on the pipes and the patching.

DAVID heads over to the pond area with some tools,
where later in the scene a fountain comes
springing out with water flowing.

HENRIETTA
We're going to need some fish, that's for sure. And
bait, and some fishing poles, and hooks. I know just
who to talk to.

HENRIETTA goes into the house to make calls, and
later in the scene emerges with fishing poles and
sets them up against the house.

THALIA
(laughing)
Anything else? Hey, universe, are you listening, 'cause
I'm asking, and I'll say yes to anything that comes
along.

A young girl - ANNIE - comes up on the stage

ANNIE
Excuse me, are you Miss Thalia? My mama told me to tell
you we want to make a puppet show here. We think we
could make good use of that space right over there.
We'll make the puppets and the show. We just need a
place. Can we use yours? Can we?

THALIA
Of course you can, darling. Of course!

ANNIE goes skipping to the side, where she begins
to pull out puppets and act out a skit. PAULINE
enters and approaches

PAULINE
Are you the proprietor?

THALIA
Yes, yes. That's what I am.
(laughing, and then, raising her hands
in the air and pronouncing the word as
if it were a monster in a Japanese
movie)
Proprie-tor!

PAULINE
I just love this spot. I'm a caterer and I want to host
some picnic-type events here. Do you think that would
be possible?

THALIA
All things are possible. I say "yes"

PAULINE moves off and now a lean, bearded stranger
comes up. It is DANIEL, carrying a guitar

DANIEL
Hi. Somebody told me you had a stage you weren't using.

THALIA
Yes I do. Or I will. Yes, I will.

DANIEL
Because my friends and I want to put on a festival
here. It's quite the place. Quite a place.

THALIA
It's beautiful, isn't it? It's just like a dream.

ACT TW0

SCENE SEVEN

DANIEL goes over to where the stage is imagined to
be, and begins to play the guitar, a sort of solo
acoustic friendly reggae sound a la Nigel Webb
would be good here, as people will begin to dance
as the scene develops.

The RAINBOW SPRINGS sign is now complete and
freshly painted, with GREGORY standing beside it.
The fountain is flowing in the pond,. The fishing
poles are leaning against the side of the house.
There are benches alongside the pond, and now
people come onto to stage, one by one or in
groups, to take places on the benches, and some,
including children, start fishing.

A child catches a fish and jumps up and down with
excitement. This becomes contagious as other
people get up and begin dancing, as the music
becomes louder, and DANIEL comes down to the
middle of the stage. As the dancers gather around
him, the main actors, one by one, manage to exit
the stage without being noticed. They are about to
reappear from the door of the main cabin at the
back of the stage.

The music and dancing continue, and then WINSTON
and LAMBERT make an entrance onto the stage from
inside the house, to dance, and take a bow as the
crowd parts. They join the crowd which gathers
together again around DANIEL, and the same pattern
is followed by HENRIETTA and DAVID, and then by
NOLAN, and then by THALIA, as they all get their
moment to take their bows, and that's all, folks,
it's

THE END